Soul Guide Radio with Allyson Scammell

Ep #46: The New Feminine Leadership Paradigm with Cherie Burton

Episode Summary

Maybe you’ve heard this before: 2020 is the year where it all falls apart. And it’s falling apart for a divine purpose: so we can evolve and restructure to something better. But I’ll be the first to say that it’s hard to remember or even see that when you’re feeling the massive amounts of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that is rattling the collective consciousness right now. 2020 has shined a spotlight on the cracks – both big and small – in our current systems. And one clear message has emerged: We need a new style of leadership. And what we’re seeing emerging in response to that calling is a new feminine leadership paradigm. To chat more about this paradigm shift, I spoke to Cherie Burton in this week’s episode of She Grows. Cherie’s mission is to guide women influencers to heal, express and be who they truly are. In our conversation, we dive into where women feel blocked in stepping into this leadership and why strong women often feel empty or disconnected inside. Cherie explains how this affects women entrepreneurs and their ability to grow a thriving business and offers tips on how we can align ourselves with this new feminine power so we can start (or deepen) our ability to go within and do this work. If you’re running a soul-guided business and want to establish yourself as a leader in your field that is aligned to this feminine leadership paradigm, then be sure to add this episode to your playlist. GUEST BIO: Mother of six, author, international speaker and host of the Women Seeking Wholeness podcast, Cherie is passionately driven to guide women influencers to heal, express and be who they truly are.

Episode Notes

In today’s episode we explore:

Resources:

Episode Transcription

Allyson Scammell: Good day to you. This is Allyson Scammell and in today's episode we're talking about some powerful stuff. I became a raving fan of author and international speaker, Cherie Burton after we chatted about how we, as women can align ourselves to the new wave of feminine power influence and healing we're seeing on the planet.

[00:00:25] Cherie explains why strong women often feel empty and disconnected inside, how feminine energy and leadership differs from the predominant masculine style, and what specifically women entrepreneurs can do to build heart centered businesses and to be seen as leaders in their field. We on a challenge that will enable you to tap into the subtle power.

[00:00:50] Of the new feminine leadership paradigm immediately. So stay with us until the end.

[00:01:00] Welcome to She Grows, a podcast for soul guided women entrepreneurs, ready to be seen and get fully booked using their unique genius. Intuitive voice and spirit guides each week. We'll explore how to create offerings based on what you do best. So you can have a wait list of ideal clients and bring in continuous income.

[00:01:25] I'm your host Allyson. Scammell let's get growing.

[00:01:36] Well, Hey, there, She Grows Nation. That is the name of this system of soul guided entrepreneurs. Today we're talking to Cherie Burton about the new feminine leadership paradigm. Cherie is a mother of six, author, international speaker, and host of the women seeking wholeness podcast. Cherie is passionately driven to guide women influencers, to heal express, and be who they truly are.

[00:02:05] I took pages and pages of notes during this interview, because I learned so much and in so many ways really needed all of the wisdom Cherie was sharing in that moment. So may you receive as much from her wisdom as I did? Okay.

[00:02:26] Welcome Cherie. I'm so excited to have you on the show. 

[00:02:29] Cherie Burton: I'm so glad to be here, Allyson. Thanks for having me. 

[00:02:32] Allyson Scammell: I absolutely love this topic. And I think the work that you are doing is so critically important. especially as the world goes through all these crazy changes and we are working to bring in something new and better and new feminine leadership is such a huge part of that.

[00:02:48] So can we start by you sharing with us? What is the new feminine leadership paradigm? 

[00:02:54] Cherie Burton: Yeah, you're right. It's a crazy time. And it's time. It's actually a new era of the feminine. And I just use the feminine as a broad term or the empowerment and spirituality and leadership of women. So, the feminine is on the rise and we can see this happening all over.

[00:03:13] We can see it happening in our larger media. So our larger, you know, culture, the me too movement, some of the other, uprisings of late. But generally speaking, it's more of a spiritual movement and it's more of a, of women kind of regaining their souls and sort of, for, you know, millennia, the patriarchy has kind of been, you know, largely running things.

[00:03:37] And this is turned religions is true in our governments, in our academia and most of the corporate structures and in the military everywhere. So. Women have often been the unsung heroes in wisdom and teaching and spirituality and said, this is what is really shifting. This is the under neath, I guess, masculine is more overt, the masculine energy or the masculine thought form, our paradigms.

[00:04:05] They're more up and out there. More achievement and recognition of focused and logic base and black and white. And it's more about structure. Whereas the feminine is more about going down in what lies beneath the surface. It's more collaborative and inclusive and expansive and innovative and creative.

[00:04:29] It's not that men and women both have both types of paradigms and energies within us, but this new feminine leadership paradigm is all about kind of what I was just saying. It's more, it's less of a top down approach and more of a organic with the people, for the people, collaborative, inclusive sort of approach women rising.

[00:04:52] It's more. It's more about how can we put our heads together? And solve these issues, as opposed to let's create a hierarchy or a structure that's going to solve everything. Oh, 

[00:05:04] Allyson Scammell: wow. I'm just like, my whole body is tingling as I hear you speak. I think that yes. Yes. Big. Yes. To that. so thank you for setting that framework.

[00:05:14]I wanted to now back up a little bit to where women sometimes feel blocked in stepping in to this leadership you're talking about. So why do you think that at times strong women can feel empty or disconnected inside? 

[00:05:29] Cherie Burton: It kind of goes back to this whole, like we're missing the inner life. There's so much emphasis on the outer life, on our achievements and our perceived successes.

[00:05:40] So if there aren't overt indicators of success, quote unquote, then oftentimes women can feel like they keep going and going and they're burning out. And they're still lonely and they're still in fear and they have, they might be super confident, you know, to their peers, or they might appear that they have it all and maybe they have a great family, whatever, but when it's just them and they're maybe trying to fall asleep or they're alone, or they're in their own space, they often feel this disconnection and the disconnection is not necessarily a disconnection from other people.

[00:06:17] There's a lot of an enmeshment where women are very relational. So we're often going to put a lot of our energy into others. The disconnection that we feel is with ourselves. So we lose sight of our soul voice really want honestly, cause we're often placating to the other structures in our lives, including our families.

[00:06:38] And we lose sight of what, you know, what makes me tick, what. No, why is it that I can, you know, have all of these things around me and I'm so blessed, but I just don't feel like I've really like found me zone in life. I haven't really found my voice for myself and yeah, so that's where we suffer.

[00:06:56] That's where we don't quite hit the mark of what we're trying to accomplish or do. And we just feel this general sense of. It could be. It's a lot of, I believe where anxiety and depression live. It's that sadness, we can't name. 

[00:07:14] Allyson Scammell: I love the idea of we're missing the inner life, like describing it in that way.

[00:07:20] So Cherie, how do you think this affects women entrepreneurs in particular and their ability to grow a thriving business? 

[00:07:28] Cherie Burton: Yeah, so. You know, women entrepreneurs that they generally, you know, are in a class by themselves because they have this drive to really help people. they get the concept of, you know, you can get paid for your passion.

[00:07:42] And so they create these business plans and. Schedules and lists and things. and so they're kind of their own boss, so they're kind of beholden to their, you have to take accountability to themselves. And so it's a whole different place to play in. So I've been an entrepreneur for 25 years, so was my husband.

[00:08:00]and it's great to be able to have that flexibility and freedom, but oftentimes it can come at, you know, depending on how you're built. If you're really strong, hard worker, you have a great work ethic and you're a woman. especially if you're a mother. You can often feel this mother guilt, like. Oh, my gosh, like, I feel so much passion creativity over here, and I could do this all day long, meaning their work or their entrepreneurial pursuits.

[00:08:26] And then they fill this tug with their children and they love they're children and they love their spouse or, you know, their family, but they just fell that tension in that tag in there. And they don't know how to reconcile that. So female entrepreneurs suffering diff on a different level, especially being mothers.

[00:08:43] Or having those that they are caretakers up for an of, that they're going to stop, how slight their relationships, if they play full heart heartedly in their domain of business. 

[00:08:56] Allyson Scammell: That is so good. I totally relate to that as a mother myself. 

[00:09:03] Cherie Burton: So

[00:09:05] Allyson Scammell: yeah, it is that constant tug of war with yourself. any tips for our listeners on how you manage that?

[00:09:13] Cherie Burton: Sure, you know, Allison, before you and I started recording your so brilliant in your feminine and leadership with saying, I'm just going to take a couple deep breaths. Whereas most people would have just plunged into the recording. and I honor that because that's kind of where I start is everything rides on the breath.

[00:09:30] I am. I have five children, ages, six to 20. He'll be 24 in October. and so I have two elementary aged kids, three college aged kids. they're all in school this year and it's crazy. They all live at home except my daughter. Who's 21 and she actually kind of taught me. My daughter is 21. Now she's kind of my older kids, this whole Genesis of me in business.

[00:09:55] And, when my daughter that's now 21 was 19, we decided to take, she was really drawn to yoga and teaching it and she wanted to take the teacher training. So I said, I'll do it with you and I'll just learn it with you. I don't want to teach yoga, but I just want to learn it with you. And it rocked our entire existence.

[00:10:09]I had already been in business, you know, for over two decades by this point, but I didn't see the value of getting in my body, like really breathing and really connecting within. And so that's first is. The and part of feminine leadership, the new feminine paradigm is about the inner terrain, the inner you like being in your body, not disassociating, or, you know, trying to please people so much that you kind of get immeshed in their being in their energy and their body.

[00:10:41] It's about, I am a sovereign being. I breathe here is my breath. Here is my, you know, here's my station in life. Here's where I stand. The, these are my needs and it's setting those healthy boundaries. And I used to think it was kind of selfish too call myself as sovereign. When I have literally five human beings that re almost relied on me for their survival, the first X amount of time, the years that they were on this earth.

[00:11:06] But it's like, wow, I'm really teaching them that when I take time for myself. Whether that's, I've got to go for a walk right now. I can't settle this dispute or I'm going to go into my closet and breathe and I'll be right back. Or even with my business partners. I will say that. Yeah. It's not just my kids, but that's where I start first is just your body.

[00:11:31] Like don't check out of your body, like learn, maybe have a guided meditation on your phone. I use a lot of essential oils. I love them. They're very grounding. They get me out of my logic brain, into my, Kind of that intuitive limbic brain. And, they take me out of fight or flight, so I'll just grab an essential oil and I'll go in my closet and I'll breathe and I'll say some mantras.

[00:11:52]but I do that even if I'm not in crisis, not I do that preventative, you know. So that is first. And I also take one whole day, a week to just live my life. There's no agenda. There's no schedules. There's no appointments. I'm just playing and I'm just, and when I do that, my productivity and creativity is greatly enhanced for the other days that I'm in.

[00:12:19] And I'm saying I take a whole day during the week, not the weekend I take, sometimes it's only a half day. I'll be honest. but it's, it's a time that I block out. Or I'm not doing anything, but being a human being and going out in nature and having that time. And I do that. It's different during Covid and I realized everyone listening doesn't have that luxury.

[00:12:40] Like your kids are home or your you're in transition or you're been displaced or whatever, but I'm here to tell you, even in those times of crisis, When you find supports in place to either watch your kids or hand them off to your spouse or whatever that you need to do, delegating your business so that you can just have that time to love yourself up and nourish yourself.

[00:13:05] You are a better, you are better in all of your roles, a hundred percent and your creativity goes through the roof. 

[00:13:12] Allyson Scammell: Yes. Oh, Cherie. I really love that. That's so brilliant. And I, I don't know when you described, so just to let listeners know before I record each podcast episode, I take a couple breaths just to ground myself, just as Cherie described.

[00:13:27] And I. I'm I just kind of feel a tingly that you referred that to that as leadership. I think that's, I don't know. It just made me feel really good. because I think it is, I think, right. It's feminine leadership, right? 

[00:13:41] Cherie Burton: You lead out, Oh, I guess I should take a breath. Yeah, that's great. I'm going 

[00:13:45] to 

[00:13:45] Allyson Scammell: do that.

[00:13:47] And I also love the one day a week. I do the same thing and it's something that a coach I was working with a couple of years ago did and a couple of years ago. You know, my four year old was two and I was just so new in my business. And I remember thinking I could never take a day a week just for me.

[00:14:04] It just, it felt so impossible at the time. But then I just had this inner knowing that I needed it, I just needed it and it had to happen. So I eventually, you know, worked through my limiting beliefs and rearrange my schedule and did what I needed to do. And I now also have the same and I just want to echo what you said about how it was for me.

[00:14:25] It was really life changing. Now I could never give that day up. 

[00:14:30] Allyson Scammell: Never, ever. So I want to talk more about this new wave of feminine power. I feel it so strongly. I feel myself so passionate about it, talking about it, and getting other, connecting with other women on this topic. So I'm so grateful that we're exploring it with you, who has so many amazing things to say on it.

[00:14:50] So what are some ways that we can align ourselves with this new feminine power influence and healing that we're experiencing on planet at the moment. 

[00:15:00] Cherie Burton: Yeah. So there's a lot of really worthy causes to attach to at the moment, because a lot of people are waking up to a lot of the injustices that have been in place and all these systems that are corrupt and all of these things, and that will have a marginal effect on your personal power.

[00:15:16]but I just keep going back to like, and this might be kind of controversial for me to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. A lot of times people are in this kind of avoidance pattern. So rather than go inside themselves and really look at their own stuff, they will join a cause that they can get behind and passionate about.

[00:15:37] And it's not that cause isn't worthy and it's not that causes an amazing for them to do and be part of. But sometimes it can be a deflection from the real inner work that they need to do for themselves. So I see this happening right now, where there are a lot of people, like something inside, like the consciousnesses waking up.

[00:15:55] And so they people feel that. But rather than go inside and say, Oh, how can I further my own awakening? What can I do to clear out my own older emotions? My old thought patterns, my beliefs that aren't serving me, how can I be more love in this world? they will kind of join up with other people.

[00:16:14] So we need other people and we need these movements to happen. However, The greatest work that you will ever do. And I mean this in business too, people use their business as a deflection, their greatest work that you will ever do for your family or for your legacy is the kind of human being that you are.

[00:16:32] So how can I be compassion? How can I be love? How can I be inclusion? And that's what feminine empowerment really is. Feminine empowerment is not like holding up a sign. It could be part of that, or to advocate for women's Equality or it's not about being super confident, right? Feminine, true, authentic, feminine empowerment is being able to be heart-based soul base.

[00:17:01] That's what true feminine empowerment is. 

[00:17:03] Allyson Scammell: I love that so much. And you know, it's interesting just hearing you talk, like, I, I would have described myself as that the deflector and in my old career, that I would do that. I used to work in international development and humanitarian affairs and every time my life got.

[00:17:21] Difficult or I was depressed or sad. I would deploy. I would go to a conflict zone, like I needed to go to a war zone. So I could really forget about my pain. But, you know, as I hear you talking, it's not always so obvious. Like I can see myself still doing it today. Just busying myself in my work and my business.

[00:17:40]Cherie Burton: right? Yeah. Yeah, we do. and it's natural again. Cause women are very relational. They've done studies and this kind of surprised me. I always thought that women were really all about intuition and all that, which we are, but what we do is we actually, when we receive a truth or when we get a hit on something like a man, we'll just be like, Oh yeah, I'm good.

[00:18:04] I bet a woman will be like, how can I teach this? Or how can I share those? Or how can I help people with this rather than how can I really serve myself with this? And so that's why women get very lost in their children or their spouse or their jobs, because they aren't necessarily going in and really doing that deep self devotional self care.

[00:18:30] And, And that includes the releasing of trauma. I also have a podcast and I've interviewed a lot of really brilliant spiritual activists and thought leaders. And they're all kind of saying the same thing that what's what we're facing right now. Is this planetary invitation to dive in and heal past trauma.

[00:18:49] And we all have trauma. I mean, there's different levels of trauma, but we're all holding trauma in our bodies and it's not easy work. and so women would rather help other people through their trauma than have to go inside. Same with men for that matter. that's, it's difficult to do this work, but when you do start to climb in and deal with your stuff, you're now liberated and a stronger force for others.

[00:19:12] So calmer trauma releases the new friends here in medicine, in, personal development. Cause we can't keep bypassing over what, you know. Yeah. There's planetary stuff going on. There's also stuff going on inside of you. 

[00:19:25] Allyson Scammell: Yes. So if, if a woman or a woman entrepreneur specifically. Was interested in, you know, going more deeply more with more intention on this path of healing.

[00:19:38] Where do you, where would you guide someone to start or to deepen their ability to go within do this work? 

[00:19:45] Cherie Burton: So I say, you know, most of our deep work can be done for free. there's a lot of stuff that you can find out there on, you know, just getting to still stillness and breathing. And I don't really like the word surrender and it triggers a lot of people, but you hear that a lot of just letting go and letting things be.

[00:20:04] And that can be really terrifying for a lot of people. So finding a trusted practitioner, it doesn't have to be a therapist. Doesn't have to be a traditional therapist. There are a lot of modalities out there that really serve people that are shamans and healers and emotional release practitioners and body talk practitioners and people who really can help.

[00:20:23]I always say, you know, start with just like YouTube, yoga. I dunno. Like there's so much out there that you can just do that is free. And then, just. I actually, I'm really attuned to the moon cycles and that's another feminine art that's starting to make a resurgence. but knowing like when the full moon is and when the new moon is because a new moon is a time to just kind of set the reset button and kind of start over that's where they call it the dark moon.

[00:20:52] Cause the slate is clean. So I'll just like light. It just simply like either take a bath or light a candle and just do some journaling about here's the state of affairs in my body. Here's what's going on for me here are the things I'm dealing with and then kind of just sending an intention. So that two weeks later, when there's a full moon, I can light that candle again, go back to my journal.

[00:21:12] You know, do some aroma therapy, do some meditation or some, you know, work in nature and just kind of come back to myself and look at like, Oh, this is what I can celebrate. That happened the last two weeks, because we're always beating ourselves up and going to the next thing and like, what's next?

[00:21:29] What do I need to conquer next? And that's a very masculine paradigm. we're not about conquest. We're about a gentle approach to healing and opening and softening to what's really rising us that needs to come out and be expressed and to release all of that rigid, stuck, toxic, old yuck, and this happening on the earth and it's happening within us.

[00:21:51] So I don't know if I answered your question, but it's just to me, it's just this practical approach to. Hey, how do I feel right now? How do I actually feel right now? And. How, what can I, what kind of research, what sources do I already have and what do I need to do to put myself my own health at a high priority?

[00:22:12] And who do I know, or who can I ask to recommend to me a good, mentor or practitioner that can help me start, you know, rooting out some of these issues that I perhaps been avoiding, because when you show up more clear, like when things are cleared out, You're a more clear vessel for people to follow and they won't consciously know that.

[00:22:33] They'll just feel that from you, you will exude that it will be like, Oh, she seems resonant. She seems there's another feminine art that I love to talk about, which is feminine and magnetism and feminine magnetism is a state of attracting to you because of your own personal power and your clear pathways. So you've cleared out all this space and you're a stronger magnet, so to speak.

[00:23:01]you can attract new people and opportunities and beautiful things that you actually want when you've done the work to kind of clear that out. So feminine leadership and feminine power is it's not about working harder. It's about how can I get still and peaceful and calm enough so that I'm a clearer vessel.

[00:23:25] For people and things that I want to come find me. So I don't have to track them down and kill myself off working so hard. 

[00:23:31] Allyson Scammell: Yes, that is so, so good. I'm an intuitive business coach. And so, a lot of my clients, you know, investing into one of my coaching programs is a big deal. You know, it's a big investment for the business.

[00:23:42] So every session they want to just focus on the business and their marketing plan and. And so often not, but yet they've got this huge thing with their husband or their huge thing with their health. And I always tell them, like, when we it's all related, if we clear up that thing in your relationship with your health, with your, feelings of self worth, whatever it is, it's going to show up in your business.

[00:24:06] Exactly. As you're describing it in this, you're going to show up more clear. You're going to show up more magnetic. But my clients resist because they it's that masculine thinking that you're talking about or that masculine paradigm that says, no, we have to do the marketing plan. We have to do the sales plan.

[00:24:23] Right? 

[00:24:25] Cherie Burton: Exactly. It's like being versus doing. 

[00:24:28] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. yes. I love it. so let's talk a little bit more about that. So let's say that you're a woman entrepreneur, which you are, and you're running a heart centered business and you want to establish yourself as a leader in your field, embracing this feminine leadership paradigm, and being the example of the down and in, and the collaborative and all the things you were talking about, how would you guide someone towards that?

[00:24:56] Cherie Burton: In business particularly, or just in my, 

[00:25:01] Allyson Scammell: you can talk to both the, most of the listeners to this are women entrepreneurs, but whatever you feel. 

[00:25:06] Cherie Burton: Yeah. So it all goes back to everything that we've been talking about, you know, having, I have something called the feminine boss school and it's just like a hundred dollar program that takes people through 12 modules all about how to do this.

[00:25:20] So, there's, some of it is about creating structure, but most of it is about intuition. So it's probably very similar to what you teach Allyson, but the biggest part of it is just being able to stay in alignment. So if your body, he isn't, and I'm not talking about perfection, I'm talking about how do you feel?

[00:25:44] Do you feel grounded? Do you feel like you have, are you, do you have brain fog or do you feel like there's clarity flowing for you and it'll differ multiple times during the day? So the art of feminine nourishment is about assessing moment by moment, having awareness moment by moment of how you're feeling and what you need to do to take care of yourself, moment by moment.

[00:26:05] So we can write out all these lists and schedules and create all these structures, but ultimately. it's a moment by moment assessment. So you could wake up feeling like great. You're like, Oh, I feel pretty good today. Like I have some energy I am. And then maybe by noon, you get slammed with an issue in your business or need in your family, or even your health or energy might be in experiencing a shift.

[00:26:31] So it's about assessment, ongoing assessment, and there's a phrase I love "constant nourishment." So nourishment, isn't something that, we schedule and it could be nourishment is there's a flow to it. it's like putting stations around you. So like I'm looking at my desk and I'm seeing, I've got my oils here.

[00:26:54] I've got a couple of visual reminders, like different cards that I have with little sayings on them. I've got things that I can nourish myself with, like water and some healthy snacks. Like I just, it's just putting those sensory stations in place. On your purse in your car, where you're at a lot, maybe at your desk, maybe in your kitchen, places where, you know, you frequent a lot that, you know, your energy can dip or you will be in high demand for other people, and that you need to take the time out for yourself to grab those things on the go.

[00:27:33] That to me has been massive. and my kids have seen me use these things, these little stations, I call them creation stations. You could also label them sensory nourishment stations, but it's things you can see taste, touch, smell, and the other one is hear. And so music has been huge for me, but also when you speak out a truth, like a mantra or an affirmation, or something that resonates for you.

[00:28:03] You're, it's your voice and you're listening. So that's an auditory nourishment and your own voice is more convincing to your subconscious than any other voice. So. I've even created a meditation on my phone for myself so that I can hear my own voice in the meditation. 

[00:28:22] Allyson Scammell: So fascinating. Cherie, I didn't know that.

[00:28:25] Cherie Burton: Yeah, you're ridiculous. Activating system in your brain. As soon as it hears your voice, it believes at 100% it bypasses all the barriers 

[00:28:34] Allyson Scammell: that is so cool. Thank you for that. And that's so empowering to know that. 

[00:28:41]Cherie Burton: Yeah, it's easy to do. Like you could just go near a, something that's playing music, grab your phone, push record, and start talking to yourself and just intuitively you don't even have to, you can script it out if you want, but usually it's the intuitive, like good morning, Cherie, like.

[00:28:59] You might be feeling this way, but here's who you are. And that kind of stuff is so powerful. You could them in 30 second increments, or you could do a full like five or 10 minute meditation set to music either way. and when we're in, when we get triggered, like we have a trauma response or we're super stressed out when we get triggered.

[00:29:17] The last thing that you're going to want to do is break out your phone and listen to yourself, say that. And so you'll avoid doing it, but I'm here to tell you it's. Super powerful. 

[00:29:27] Allyson Scammell: That's fantastic. I love the idea of creation stations by the way. And I'm going to be creating some, myself. I just moved into new house and I'm about to organize my office, which is now a disaster area.

[00:29:39] And guess what I'm going to do when I put my, when I get my office into shape, I'm going to create 

[00:29:45] Allyson Scammell: creation stations. It's so cool because I kind of have been doing that, but it's been a little kind of haphazard. I want to get more organized about it. I think. It's super brilliant. And I love the idea of moment by moment assessment, because I think so often we have our morning routine if we do it, and then we do either, we don't do it at all, which I'm totally guilty of lately.

[00:30:07] Cause I've been in the middle of a move, but then if we do it's kind of like check for the rest of the day. Right? You don't have to check back in with ourselves. We did it at 6:00 AM. Yeah, exactly. So walk us through a little bit what you do or what you coach your clients on. What, how do you approach a moment by moment assessment?

[00:30:24] Like, is there a question you recommend? 

[00:30:26] Cherie Burton: Yeah, that's a really good question. So, with awareness with mindfulness, it all starts with inquiry. So this is a Buddhist practice. it's in may, it's a lot in a lot of, even Jesus Christians have used, Jesus was always asking people questions. Well, what do you think about this?

[00:30:42] And how does this fit? You know, so inquiry is just asking yourself, is this true? Like, let's just say you have a fearful thought. you just, and this is Byron Katie teaches us too, but there are many people that teach the process of inquiry, but you just, can't going again, down and in and assessing the truth or the false falseness, I guess, of whatever you're grappling with.

[00:31:06] And ultimately when you keep it going through the process of inquiry with yourself, you really get down to like, you get to choose. You can decide if this is going to take you down, or if you have the power and you know, you do, that's what you get down to with inquiry. So there's the masculine way is black, white logic.

[00:31:27] Right? Wrong, good, bad. Okay. And those are the systems we've been raised in the feminine way is the nurturing way of what if or I wonder dot, dot. I wonder what would happen if dot.dot. And I actually teach something called afforformations and it's little bit different than affirmations are question-based.

[00:31:48] So like, let's say you were trying to become peaceful, calm and centered. So maybe you have an affirmation that says I am peaceful, calm and centered, but you're not really feeling it. So a way to trick your brain, so to speak and get past that logic black, white right wrong is to go within and say, I wonder why it's so easy for me to start feeling peaceful.

[00:32:09] Allyson Scammell: Oh,

[00:32:10] Cherie Burton: why is it so natural for me to get calm and centered? So you said I actually have a set of 25 cards that I created that are called soul declaration cars that have an affirmation on one side and afformation on the other, because we've been trained to just say all these, I am statements, but it's not convincing her subconscious.

[00:32:32]and so we can get a little stuck there. So, if you want to master a new belief, you've got to go into inquiry. So that's huge is just to stay in alignment and to stay aware and mindful. We have to ask questions. Things needed to be question-based because it's when we get so rigid and resolute with this is the way it is.

[00:32:52] We rebel inside and we don't want someone telling us this is the way it needs to be. And this is who you are. And this is what it's about. We need to come to that. That truth on our own end needs to be our truth. 

[00:33:05] Allyson Scammell: Yes, that is so brilliant. And then that's how we actually can where it's like, you're positioning yourself to believe in the, I am statements.

[00:33:13] It's like, is it kind of like the work before? So you can shift into alignment to that feeling of, I am fill in the blank and it feels true, 

[00:33:22] Cherie Burton: right! Yes, exactly. It brings up, feelings that, you know, when there's a pure truth that comes through, it's like, You were saying, you can get goosebumps. I think you mentioned earlier, you get goosebumps or, you know, when something comes through that resonates for you, your body will tell you it's true.

[00:33:41] Usually about a sensation. And that's why sensory anchors are so important because they ground us into the body. So that truth can come through. And we've been, you know, with some of the old religious programming that a lot of us got, it was that's bad or that's wrong. Or whatever. And so we just shut down and I was like, well, no, the feminine is more nuanced.

[00:34:05] That's probably a good way to put it. The feminine energy is more, it's less about this rigid dogmatic way of looking at life. It's not about this as bad or that's good. It's just, this is a different way to experience this. And so we get to decide in our own bodies and our own sovereignty, what feels aligned for us?

[00:34:27]a good, like example I have of that is a lot of people in the LGBTQ community have experienced a lot of marginalization in a lot of different settings, especially religion. So if they're going to be true and stay in alignment to who they are, They have to decide what their truth is and they have to let it run, you know, kind of let it flow and let it ride for them to truly be in their joy and be happy.

[00:34:51] So we can't dictate to other people like this is who you are, and this is how you need to be. And this is bad. They, we just guide people into their own knowing so that they can experience that for themselves and have that honor. Inner alignment and flow. So you can be happy because ultimately that's just what we want.

[00:35:07] We want to be happy. We all just want to love each other and be happy. 

[00:35:10]Allyson Scammell: yes. I love it. And I love the idea of afformations. It's just, as I heard you saying it's so powerful. I was getting the tingle, but sensory response that I'm like, Oh yeah, I want to buy Cherie's cards, you know, I wonder why it's so easy for me to go to the gym every day.

[00:35:30] That is 

[00:35:32] Cherie Burton: like, you can trick your brain. Like, why is it so easy to move my muscles? Why do I feel so strong right now? Why do I feel so alive right now? I use it that I feel so alive right now when I'm at the gym. Yeah. 

[00:35:44] Allyson Scammell: That is fantastic. Oh my gosh. I love it so much. I have learned so much from you Cherie and just this episode has been packed with bits of wisdom that I feel like I can implement in my life like today.

[00:35:57]I like to put my listener or my guests on the spot a little bit, each episode. It's my little trick that I do. And I invite you to leave our listeners with a challenge. . Now that I asked the question because you've effected me Cherie. Is that a masculine question? Well, no, 

[00:36:17] Cherie Burton: it need to be potentially be, but not necessarily.

[00:36:20] And again, women, we do have to operate in our masculine energy many times to move. To go to action. Right. But we also, we have to lead with the feminine energy, but we still have to go to implement stuff to go to action. We just can't be accountable for the outcome a lot of times. So, I would challenge all you beautiful souls who are listening to sit down and, Light a candle when the house is quiet and nobody needs you.

[00:36:49] And to get out a journal or a piece of paper and put some Epic music on or some beautiful high vibe music for you and take some deep breaths and just start brain dump, being what you love to do. And then when you're done with that, then look at that and maybe find like your top five that are just intuitively like screaming at you, or maybe just even your top three.

[00:37:12] And then look at your schedule for the next three, four or five days and do one of those every day. And then if you can keep that practice up, that is so invigorating to your soul, especially feminine entrepreneurs who are just so about like, Getting things done. And, you know, having, you know, a lot of times, you know, the financial aspect of it can preclude the fun of it and the joy of just being alone and the whole reason we want to have money so we can receive bounteous abundance in our being.

[00:37:46] And so if you're not doing what you love while you're creating money and structures, then it's not going to be as fun. So, and you're not going to create as much in your business. So I can just say, yeah, sit down, take some deep breaths. Light a candle. Get out your journal, put on some Epic music and just start brain dumping, set a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and brain dump, everything that you love to do.

[00:38:09]and it might take a little while, cause we're not used to that. No one gives us that luxury. so, yeah, just let it flow. Let it ride. That 

[00:38:17] Allyson Scammell: is so good. And one of my favorite challenges, I think I've ever heard on the show. and I've mentioned a few times and the episode mentioned it again, then I'm in the middle of the move and I just I'm mentioning it because whenever I think you go through a big transition, any transition, what's the first thing, go off the list of things that you.

[00:38:39] You do or be in a day. And that's those things that really, you know, those extra things, you can define them as an extra. which is probably, you probably shouldn't define it as extra, but, that you just feel like, Oh, well, I can get to that thing tomorrow. You know, that yoga class, that whatever it is.

[00:38:57] And so I am so going to do this challenge. 

[00:39:00] Cherie Burton: Good. You'll have to let me know. 

[00:39:04] Allyson Scammell: I will let you know. And for the listeners at home, I really recommend it. it's something that, I have to remind my clients, Cherie already alluded to it that I think women entrepreneurs particularly, I think because they don't, we don't go into an office and punch our timecard and then we have our.

[00:39:23] Our hours at the office. Although most people are working home now with COVID, but that concept of you have your hours, that you work and hours that you don't as an entrepreneur, it all kind of blends together. And you can have that feeling like you always should be working. So this is such a brilliant challenge to help you establish those boundaries and get back into those things that nurture your soul.

[00:39:47] Cherie Burton: Absolutely.

[00:39:50] Allyson Scammell: Beautiful. Oh my gosh. This has been so much fun connecting with you on this topic. I, like I said, I've learned so much Cherie. Can you please let our listeners know how they can find you? 

[00:40:02] Cherie Burton: Yeah. Thank you. So if people want to check into my $97 dollar is what it is a course of feminine boss school.

[00:40:11] And you can just go to feminine boss school.com. You can also just find me on Sheree burton.com. I have a freebie there actually. it's a free sensory healing kit that you can download. So it's yeah. That's where you find me. And I'm also, I also have a podcast called Women Seeking Wholeness, which, I'll have to have you on as a guest, Allyson.

[00:40:33] Oh, 

[00:40:33] Allyson Scammell: my gosh, I'd be honored. And yeah, I, and where can we get those cards? 

[00:40:37] Cherie Burton: Those are on my website.  CherieBurton.dot com. Yep. And, I will actually give them, you know, for the first three people that, message you, I will give those away for free and I'll actually send you some to Allyson. So for your first three listeners who respond, I will send them on a deck.

[00:40:54] Allyson Scammell: That is so generous. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. my body's tingling against it. I like it. I like it. Oh, that's so generous. Okay, wonderful. and all of those links will be in the show notes. Cherie, thank you again. From the bottom of my heart, this has just been a fantastic episode. I'm so excited to share it and.

[00:41:13]please continue sharing this wisdom out to the world right now. I can't think of a better message to be sending to women 

[00:41:20] Cherie Burton: all over the world. Thank you. Thank you. There. I plan on it.

[00:41:29] Allyson Scammell: And I'd like to thank you so much for listening. And if you're loving this up, go ahead and hit subscribe wherever it is you listen. And I would be so, so grateful sending hearts and love your way. If you take a little time to wherever it is, you listen. Give us a rating and review. So more people can find us.

[00:41:53] And if you'd like help calling in your ideal clients and customers, then download my PDF guide that reveals the five visibility blockers that are preventing your ideal clients from finding you. Your offerings are way too important to remain invisible. So this guide will help you be seen and get fully booked.

[00:42:13] You can find a link to download the guide on my website, Allyson scammell.com as well as in the show notes.