When I first started my business and began accepting my identity as a coach, I struggled to feel confident stepping into this new role and owning my true self. I wasn't sure what my values were, what my purpose was, or how to share my gifts in a way that would help my ideal clients. After years of work, I feel completely aligned with my mission here at She Grows, but it wasn't an easy process. That's why I'm so excited to introduce you to Andrea Fleischfresser, the founder of Destination You Coaching. Andrea helps business owners uncover their true selves and use that magic to make their businesses successful. In this episode, Andrea shares how to bring your true self into your business so that you can attract your ideal clients and grow your business with ease. We explore the biggest block that keeps most entrepreneurs stuck and how you can easily shift a perceived weakness in your life, business, or relationships to a benefit or strength. As an international coach and cultural expert who speaks multiple languages, Andrea offers advice for those struggling to feel confident in their business when English isn't their first language. Andrea also walks us through an exercise to help begin exploring the idea of your true self when you don't know who you are or what your purpose is. We wrap up the episode with a piece of advice for anyone who has found a new piece of themselves that feels correct and aligned, but is having a hard time owning it.
In today’s episode we explore:
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Andrea Fleischfresser is the founder of Destination You Coaching & Development and Leadership and Cross-cultural Coach with 20 years of experience abroad in HR and Coaching, specialized working with leaders and organizations with international responsibilities. She specializes in working with leaders and organizations with international responsibilities and multi-cultural teams and helps them to be successful in a global context.
References:
Brene Brown - Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
Simon Sinek - Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action
Resources:
Links: www.destinationyoucoaching.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafleicoach/
https://www.facebook.com/andrea.fleischfresser
Allyson: Hey there. This is Allyson Scammell and we have a super heart connected episode for you today that you're going to love. I had the pleasure of speaking to leadership coach Andrea Fleischfresser, True self into your business. Andrea explains how you can tap into your true self, how this calls in your ideal clients and what you can do to start adding more of your unique authenticity into your business.
[00:00:31] We end the discussion on a beautiful challenge that we'll have you showing up as your most authentic self in your business. So stick with us until the end. Welcome to she grows a podcast for soul guided entrepreneurs ready to be seen and get fully booked
[00:00:51] Allyson: using their unique genius, intuitive voice and spirit guides. Each week
[00:00:57] We'll explore how to create offerings based on what you do best. Wait list of ideal clients and bring in continuous income. I'm your host Allyson Scammell let's get growing.
[00:01:19] Allyson: Hey there she grows nation. That is the name of this sisterhood of soul guided entrepreneurs. And today we're speaking to Andrea Fleischfresser about how to add your true self to your business. Andrea is the founder of. Coaching and development. She's a leadership and cross-cultural coach 20 years of experience abroad in HR and coaching.
[00:01:43] She specializes in working with leaders and organizations with international responsibilities and multicultural teams. STEM to be successful in a global context. I truly enjoyed connecting with Andrea on this podcast. And may you receive as much from her wisdom as I did.
[00:02:07] Yeah, I'm so thrilled. You're on the show and I'm really excited to talk about this topic with you.
[00:02:12] Andrea: Hi, Allyson. Thank you for having me here. It's a pleasure to be here with you and I'm excited to talk with you as well.
[00:02:19] Allyson: Wonderful. So let's start out with one. Think we sometimes struggle to show up. As our true selves in life and business
[00:02:29] Andrea: action.
[00:02:29] This is such a great question because this has happened with all of us. Like we cannot differentiate ourself. This is what for me, it's that big a difference for our successful people and successful people is really about how to manage, how to, work on our. So as you know, we all were raised from now our families, culture background, all the history that we have now in our backgrounds and maybe happened even in our work when you know, a childhood or I dunno, teenager years when we are young and that's it.
[00:03:21] For some reason we create with ourselves some limited that we know that it's not true, but it is here inside of us. So when we become aware of that, those are not who we are, but just mindset blocks. In coaching. We also called the saboteurs. That's getting stuck in their way to make us become the best version of ourselves.
[00:03:54] This is the first sack to carry a business and a life that you want. So working in this limited believes in the suburbs. Tours is really crucial, too. You're successful path who would take this, leverage your life now in Mora, fulfilling fulfillment and balance.
[00:04:23] Allyson: Nice. Nice. Can you give us an example from your own journey of where a mindset block was?
[00:04:28] Really? From showing up as your true self.
[00:04:32] Andrea: Yes, absolutely. So, as you may know, I'm originally from Brazil and I moved to Italy after I got married. My husband is Italian. So. Graduated in Brazil in college, I did a master's degree and I started my professional life. Let's say more as a foreign person. I'm Italian.
[00:04:58] It was not my first language. English is not my first language, but they, sorry that. I had in my head that I was not good enough because I was not speaking like that. I was not, I could not writing, communicate. I had accent and I was especially in the beginning learning the language. So this conversation with myself that I was not good enough.
[00:05:29] I was not like them was holding. To see myself less than they are the three. After I moved to United States, then I started my, I choose to follow the path as with coaching and doing coaching trainings. And become a leadership coach. I am, I am the suit that this worked. I one day talk to myself. That was my weakness, which is my accent.
[00:06:02] And because I am a foreign. You mean here? United States is actually one of my straights because I have a different experience in different countries. I can relate with people from different places. So it's really weird. Then we see now, what do. For some reason we think about is our weakness and see that as a gift and that you can also give to others and make them see themselves.
[00:06:36] As
[00:06:37] Allyson: I love that I have quite a few clients who are, coaches and they're working in the service based industry, who English is their second language and they feel sometimes held back. Or uncomfortable or like they're not truly expressing themselves because they're trying to have a sales conversation, which is difficult in any language, difficult in your mother, tongue in a second language.
[00:07:04] And they've just, they feel like they can't find the right words or something. As someone who's really been there and you've learned to succeed. What advice would you have for those people
[00:07:15] Andrea: as his sad? None, this kind of conversation is difficult in any language and especially when you. Focus in the outcome, how this conversation will be like, if this person will be my client and then we are so connected to your mind, to your brain, that you forget.
[00:07:40] To our hearts and they initial conversation with a future client fire, whoever is in front of you, because I believe that having a good networking referrals is very. So whatever is the conversation it's really important to connect with your heart. So showing more curiosity to the other person, be interested to know about them.
[00:08:12] No. If you are the right, the person to help this person is not about getting a new client. Of course everyone was your client, especially if you're a solopreneur and no manager. What is reading part, seeing if this client is the right person for you, and if you are the right coach or business owner, depending on what, what you do for this.
[00:08:44] So really connect to your heart, to your curiosity, being empathetic with the other person, understanding the other person's pain and, and see if you can relate with that.
[00:08:58] Allyson: Oh, I love that. The language of the heart is an international language. Right. We all understand. I love that so much. A great answer. So how do you define your true self?
[00:09:12] So we're talking about adding our true self to our business.
[00:09:17] Andrea: I'd believe that the work of self awareness knowing about yourself is really fundamental, for anyone, but especially if you will be, you would like to create your own business because your own business is your identity. So it needs to start to knowing yourself.
[00:09:41] And most of the times, I see I'll sit with my clients with the daily routines and work life. Now starting work a lot of hours people, and this is happened with me as well before. we forget, she'll know who we are. So when sometimes I ask my. The simple question. Tell me about yourself. Tell me who is no, and I also say the name, choose, make it a person say in the third person, like asking who is Allison people have hard time to describe them.
[00:10:18] And they also say, I don't know who am I? Sometimes people also in danger find themselves as their own job. They erode in the organization. So especially if you were wanting your business or developing. It's really about knowing what are your values? What are the values that you want for your business?
[00:10:42] What is your strengths now? Once you are good at that can make a gift to them. Give a little bit to yourself, to others. what's your purpose? I love the work of Simone sine. I can tell they're famous this set of why book. So when he says like they're different. So people are not. And so people is not about what they do, but why they do what they do.
[00:11:11] So really it's about with your values, strengths, and purposed to open this fast so that you can define yours and your business.
[00:11:27] Allyson: Hmm. And so what are some things you tell people and they say, well, I'm, I'm not sure. I don't know who I am. And I mean, I, I'm not sure, or I'm not sure what my purpose is, what my values really are that I want to bring forth in my business.
[00:11:42] How do you guide them back to their truth?
[00:11:44] Andrea: So sometimes, it's, it's also sample access size and of course we need to say what's fits bad. Clients some not, I believe that each client is really unique. So there is no one is specific to that. I can use who I've all of them. So I, I can, I see how, what do. So some of the examples, as I mentioned, the same poll questions, I helped them, also brainstorming with them who is so and so let's bring you as an example, who is Allison?
[00:12:24] Let's bring store me and using, affirmative sentences starting with I am. I am a business owner. I am a mom. I am a wife. So for example, I am. To some quantities, maybe I'm creative. I am determinate. I am sensible. I dunno. So many other things that, for also just time there is this, when, when it's I never taught that I was so many things.
[00:13:00] So there's this one example that I use there, simple, there is another exercise that you, who is watching Lisa here could do is also ask. There is another simple exercise that you can choose three, at least three people that you know, and trust and ask them. Could you please tell me who. And I, at my best, and you just say to this person that you trust to describe yourself when you are at your best.
[00:13:35] And it's incredible, the surprised because their reaction use it is wow. I've never talked to this person will describe me in this way. And this is now. You are strains is who you are when you are at your best. And of course, great access because I use with my clients. For example, the strength finders is a very well known assessment.
[00:14:04] When a client needs to have more guidance and more information about themselves. I also work with assessment. Via character is also a very good free assessments that you all can do to help you with your strengths as well, and have more knowing more about yourself. So, and then we go from that.
[00:14:33] Allyson: Nice nice.
[00:14:34] When I had a 17 year career in international development and humanitarian affairs. And at some point in that career, about 10 years in, I think
[00:14:45] Andrea: I got that
[00:14:47] Allyson: and I realized that I was defining my worth by my title, like who I was, was my job title. And if I didn't have a sexy job title, that meant I wasn't a very sexy person.
[00:14:59] So it really became. And then kind of realized at some point, when I found coaching that I was not properly defining who I really was. And then I pivoted to coaching, which felt truly aligned. And I was like, this is how I want to serve others. I give back. This feels really good, but for my first years in coaching, and I know a lot of people who are doing the listeners who have, you know, mid career changes, like I had, you have a hard time showing up as that new.
[00:15:34] At new. And I had a really hard time, even though the old identity of, you know, I work in government, I work in development that wasn't serving me anymore on many levels. I really struggled to say, I'm a coach. Hi, my name is Alison and I'm a coach. That was a super aligned identity for me. So what advice do you have offered to people who might be struggling with something similar today?
[00:15:58] They've found a new piece of themselves that they feel is correct and aligned with. They're having a hard time owning it.
[00:16:06] Andrea: That's a great point. And also it resonates a lot with me. I also was in a HR career for 12 years and I used to. There was something dad that I like missing the loving. And also I loved coaching seeing that I started, but the ER, sorry, resonates a lot with mine as well.
[00:16:32] So answering your question, I used to, We, we are like a three. If you think about a tree, like especially people with mid career, you could be around 30 years, so 40 or so I started coaching in my, I'm 44. Now I have no issues sending my age, but it's so totally fine. So we mentioned that you want this 30, 35, 38, 44 years.
[00:17:03] So tree and. No like a tree, our roots, our now what's everything that comes in this tree that it takes now all the, as I mentioned, the childhood, the teenagery is the first job. Background, their history that make this three become this. You would have filtrate that to review, now, and when we are starting this new bath, now this is starting over.
[00:17:34] That is actually not starting from scratch. Do cover, not this background. Do you have this experience? So it's like this new branch of this tree is a new leaf, a new part of the tree. There is no, and it needs its needs times to grow. So I understand that people sometimes want to, I w they, they want to launch their business.
[00:18:06] They want to have numbers to be successful. The social media is here now to make everyone looks so creative and fascinating, but lifestyle takes time. We need to be in the process. We need to.
[00:18:27] Sure grow and mature with specialty in, in a new profession that you want to say to yourself. As you've mentioned, Alison, to tell yourself, Hey, I'm coach. To yourself in the mirror and say, hello, I'm Alison and I'm a coach. Hello, I'm Andrew. And I'm a coach and I can support you, right? Because this is the big challenge as well.
[00:18:54] That as a coach, you are. People's life. So in we are working with human beings. So I would say accepting the process and working in the day in this process, Navistar. And more you develop this part of you. The things will come naturally.
[00:19:20] Allyson: That is a great answer. I love that. And that just applies for so many things, especially in business.
[00:19:27] It's exactly, as you're saying. Get frustrated when they don't see the results right away. And they just haven't given it that time. It needs to be nurtured. So let's get into our businesses a little bit more. Why does showing up as our true self bring in more business business success?
[00:19:45] Andrea: Because like show to answer here, Allison, because you will attract the right person for you.
[00:19:52] As we all know, let's talk about coaching business. How many coaches now we have nowadays are worthwhile and we are. Conceptually. So it's so easily for me, for you work with people while around the world, but I don't believe in competition. I really believe that we are all unique. What Allie still has is different than Alice.
[00:20:17] So, when working our two South working hour outing TCT thing, I'll say with our, to ourselves being, I'll think with our prospects clients. And clients, you will attract the right person that I can help, not anyone else. So, more you connect with this true South. Makes me unique. And this is not, I'm not talking about this identity and saying I'm Brazilian, I'm American and so old, but we're at least back of my, sorry, that connect.
[00:21:04] Sorry. So then when the person will come to you, they, you realize that yes, I'm the right person. I can help you with that. So more you show up are thankful and then there's to the word you will attract the right people to you.
[00:21:26] Allyson: Yes. And Andrea, what makes you unique
[00:21:31] Andrea: as either a good question?
[00:21:36] Allyson: I put you on the spot.
[00:21:40] Andrea: I believe that it's, it's about my international background. Of course, I bring this alive, have been working. international leaders have been living in different countries and have experienced working and living, knowing different places, but is looking to other person.
[00:22:07] Communicate with my heart as a way. Really, I connected deeply with others, with empathy, with connections. I connect with my clients, supported them in. Who they are. So it's more about discovered this has sense that inside of each one of us, one of my, I believe you all know the w. Brown. And one of my favorite books is braving the wilderness.
[00:22:43] When Renee Brown said, the two belonging doesn't require us to change who we are. It requires. Be who we are. So this is what so happened with me when I was saying not living in, when I was in Italy, that I was, I changed my assets. I changed myself in others. To that place and coaching how for me to find myself now that my true belonging is not about where I am, where I leave, but it's about who am I as a person?
[00:23:24] They have my client's place. If they want to start their own business or start a new career, or even, they add leaders and they want to be promoted or be more successful in their roles. Is really to work on the school, you work and find this belonging inside of yourself. So you can be now I'll thank she yourself, regardless of where you live or.
[00:23:56] Allyson: Beautiful answer. And I think that you and I talking on this podcast is an example of everything you just said is a big, what makes me unique too, I believe is similar to what makes you unique. Although we. Because of it, but for me, heart-centered living, living from your heart. You know, I, I say that I work with soul guided women.
[00:24:18] Entrepreneurs is my target audience. And that really just means people who are living that heart consciousness and you and I were connected by
[00:24:26] Andrea: eight.
[00:24:28] Allyson: Who said, Hey, I think you guys would be good. Have a fruit for relationship. And I think that our mutual contact who connected us was correct.
[00:24:37] Andrea: Hi.
[00:24:39] Allyson: Yeah, you're showing up authentically and I'm showing up, showing up authentically and then we're.
[00:24:43] Right. And it's just happening very organically. Like, you know, you and I were just connected. and we said, Hey, you know, be on my podcast. And it's a, it's a beautiful process when it just unfolds like that. So let's talk about how. Do it, like what are some habits or tips that you can offer to help entrepreneurs bring their true self into their business?
[00:25:07] Andrea: Yeah, absolutely. So I, when I was doing my first certificate in 2015, I had a December amazing supervisor that he was. Pretty tough. Right. He was very interactive to the point. And I remember one time he said, this sentence that he was really like, and it totally makes sense. And I, I love to share this.
[00:25:40] And he said, if you are done, you are bad. Pretty tough. This is a verus. I know that this is very strong, but the meaning is just never stopped. If you want to continue in this life and your business, if you want to. Bro, you need to grow your suit, not work on yourself. Now, develop yourself, never stop working on yourself and developing new skills to yourself.
[00:26:12] If you continue doing the same thing where continue. Results. So never stop. It's. We are here to learn. I always loved this beginner mindset. We, there is no bad they're bad or less than mindset, but knowing that. Yeah, learning and growing and to make, we're today, better than yesterday, today. So what I, I would say with people that, starting their business.
[00:26:48] Thinking about having, their own business. It's, it's a long life journey. So, and this is, so this is so fun because this is your send. You can create. Where you want. And maybe for next year, you want to create something different and go for it because this is yours, but don't forget that. It's another stuff.
[00:27:15] Process.
[00:27:17] Allyson: Beautiful answer. B, R right, Andrea, I'm going to ask you another one, one last question. I'm going to put you on the spot again a little bit, and then I'm want to know how listeners can find you. Can you leave our listeners with a challenge? to really start adding their true selves, more into their business.
[00:27:39] Andrea: That's such a good question, but, you, you, you surprised me with that.
[00:27:47] Allyson: This is what I do my podcasts
[00:27:51] Andrea: at the end. That's good to, maybe I'll give you if the access size that I shared before, like, Maybe ask yourself or ask to people that you are, who you are when you are at your best, and try to brainstorm with this with you.
[00:28:10] If even though you have your own business is always good to refresh a little bit. And, now, and maybe he and others. Smell about yourself. So my challenge is to ask other people about yourself so you can know more about, about yourself and redefine more your business.
[00:28:36] Allyson: Beautiful. So who am I when I'm at my best and checking in with yourself and with other people who you love and trust to get their opinion as well.
[00:28:45] That is brilliant. Thank you, Andrea so much for being on the show and sharing your. Thus truly, truly beautiful. I received so much from it. Please tell our listeners how they can find
[00:28:58] Andrea: you. Yeah, absolutely. So you can know more about me on my website. My business name is destination you coaching. This semester coaching.com.
[00:29:12] I'm also social media. So Instagram destination, new coaching, Facebook and LinkedIn as well. Andrea flies, facet. I'm I was so run, Facebook group. It's a closed group. So you can, you'd need to ask the request. It's called women abroad. We had more than 15. Around the word with the purpose of support, connecting and inspire each other.
[00:29:46] So I love hearing other people's stories and make connection between them. So we all. Support each other, not and people, women who are living abroad or women that one to like as Allison continue connecting and supporting what it meant. So you are all welcome. And connect with me privately, if you want to know more about myself and my wife.
[00:30:16] Allyson: Fantastic. Thank you so much. And all of those links will be in the show notes. Thank you, Andrea. Again, so much for being with us and we look for. So with our network.
[00:30:27] Andrea: Thank you, Allyson. It was a pleasure talking with you. It was so much fun. Thank you. And looking forward to connect with your Mark.
[00:30:42] Allyson: So so much for listening. And if you're digging on this episode, please hit subscribe wherever it is you listen, and I'd be sued. We're grateful for a rating and review. So more, more people can find us. And if you'd like help calling in your ideal. Download my PDF guide that reveals the five visibility blockers that are preventing your ideal clients from finding you your offerings are too important to remain invisible.
[00:31:10] So this guide will help you to be seen
[00:31:13] Andrea: and.
[00:31:15] Allyson: Find the link to download the guide on my website, AllysonScammell.com.