If you want to be a leader who inspires your audience, you're going to love this episode. This week I had the pleasure of speaking with podcaster, author and executive leadership coach Jodi Flynn whose mission is helping Type-A entrepreneurs achieve their biggest goals with ease by identifying and overcoming the obstacles that are getting in their way. We explored becoming the type of leader who inspires others, overcoming perfectionism and alignment within yourself to successfully run a soul led business. Jodi shared how acting like a scientist and having a curious mindset can help you to overcome the fear of failing and help grow your business. She shares other tips about how to not fall into the trap of doing something in your business because it's what "the experts" say you need to do but it's not something you are comfortable with as a soul led entrepreneur. We also discussed how the stories we tell ourselves about our situations play into our mindset. Jodi details how she coaches her clients to question those stories and how to change them in order to have a healthy mindset. Finally, Jodi shares how just changing your language in certain circumstances can immediately move you from a feeling of frustration to empowerment. Jodi Flynn of Women Taking the Lead is an Executive Leadership Coach, Podcaster, Author, Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator for people-leaders. She works with rising women to improve the skills that advance them to the top levels in their career. She is the host of the critically acclaimed Women Taking the Lead podcast, and an Amazon bestselling author with her book, Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing.
In today's episode we explore:
Access my 3 free soul-guided meditations by clicking here.
Learn about Jodi Flynn - https://womentakingthelead.com/
[00:00:00] Welcome to the show. This is Allyson Scammell. I'm super excited to be talking to you today about how to become a better leader through self leadership. I was lucky enough to speak to executive leadership coach Jodi Flynn.
[00:00:19] We explore what self leadership is and how a healthy mindset can make you that type of leader that inspires your ideal audience and those around you every day. We'll end on a very cool challenge that you can implement in your life today to take your leadership abilities to the next level. So stay with us until the end.
[00:00:45] Welcome to She Grows, a podcast for soul guided women entrepreneurs ready to grow their income, impact and inspiration each week. We're going to explore how to align to the soul of your business and grow it from there. I'm your host, Allyson Scammell. Let's get growing.
[00:01:11] Hey, there She Grows Nation.
[00:01:14] That's the name of this sisterhood of soul guided women entrepreneurs who are ready to grow in life and business. I had the privilege of speaking with Jodi Flynn about the great topic of self leadership. Jodi Flynn is an executive leadership coach, podcaster, author, speaker and workshop facilitator for People Leaders. She works with rising women to improve the skills that advance them to the top levels in their career. She is the host of the critically acclaimed "Women Taking the Lead" podcast, and an Amazon best selling author of her book, "Accomplished: How to Go From Dreaming to Doing". We had so much fun exploring this topic. I hope you receive as much from it as I did.
[00:02:06] Welcome, Jodi. I am so thrilled you're here. Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today. Allyson, I'm honored you asked me. I'm excited. I'm so glad we met.
[00:02:15] I'm excited to catch up and so excited that you asked me to be on your podcast.
[00:02:21] I'm so honored. And I'm for those of you who are listening. I'm excited to be here. And this is this is gonna be a fun conversation. That's so cool.
[00:02:29] And I love your podcast. You have an amazing podcast, "Women Taking the Lead" and I stumbled upon, you need to know, that I stumbled upon your web site on a Google search, which I think is always just like it. Isn't that so great? Because I was looking for strong or, you know, podcasts to listen to that are directed towards or run by women entrepreneurs, not men. And a lot of the top podcasts for entrepreneurs are led by men. Yes and that's fine but I loved and I'm striving to get that feminine voice out there even stronger than it already is in your podcast. Popped up super high on that.
[00:03:11] Oh, that is so good to hear. It's working. Yes, it's exactly what you're doing.
[00:03:19] So I'm very excited to be unpacking this topic of leadership. And I love the idea of self leadership. And so let's jump in. Tell us about your journey to becoming a more effective leader.
[00:03:33] Oh, gosh. It's I mean, it's a long. I mean, our journey really starts when we're born.
[00:03:38] So I'll try to fast forward and skip over at least some of the remedial stuff. But I would say for me, it really you know, we often say, you know, our our pain becomes our passion and, you know, our mess becomes our mission. And for me, I was really shy as a child, like dramatically shy. Like, I remember I trained myself to breathe silently so that I wouldn't draw any attention to me because I was so worried. I mean, I think it's part of my perfectionism.
[00:04:12] And I was so worried about saying and doing the wrong thing that I tried to say as little and do as little so I wouldn't get called out and I wouldn't have somebody be like, well, that's wrong. And, you know, why are you doing that? You know, especially as children.
[00:04:24] Like, you're just like, well, like, if I say or do the wrong thing, I'll become a target. And I don't want that.
[00:04:30] And I was fine at home with my family like I could be myself. I was outgoing. I was energetic. But when I was out in the world, it was totally different. And I remember just always being stressed out, you know? And, you know, it was labeled as shy or, you know, introverted, quiet, that sort of thing. Which baffled my mom because my teachers were like, oh, she's wonderful. She's quiet. She gets her work done. My mother was like, no, my my daughter's Jodi like I could. So there was a disconnect. And I remember in my high school years, in college years, I started being introduced to books like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and "The Four Agreements". And, you know, just starting to experience more things where it was apparent to me like, oh, I don't have to be so caught up and I don't have to be perfect and it's okay to mess things up. And so for me, it was you know, the journey began when I realized, like, I could read and do things and learn things and apply them to my life. And all of a sudden, all new opportunities and all new experiences became available to me that were not available when I wasn't willing to speak up, when I wasn't willing to do something a little bit risky. And it's been an ongoing journey from there. It's been it was almost like, well, let me just play with this idea of who am I really and what am I really capable of and what is really possible for me.
[00:06:01] And it continues like I'm still in that query of, okay, I've done this. Thus far. What? What's next? What? What? What do I not realize that I'm capable of that? Once it becomes apparent to me, all new things become available. That's amazing. It sounds like that you changed your story to "it's OK to mess up"? Yeah. And that was very shifting? Oh, huge. Huge. And it's one of the big, I like consider it one of the biggest gifts I give my clients because my clients tend to be perfectionists. You know, they always want to get it right. They want to get it right the first time and they beat themselves up. If they don't or they have the story that there's something wrong with me or something lacking in the way I'm doing this, that caused me to mess up. And I was like, well that's, you know, looking at things as if it's either a success or a failure, you know, one or the other, you're either hugely successful or it fails. And if you're a perfectionist, like it's never hugely successful, even if it's successful, you're like, well, it could have been better. Yeah. Or I messed this up. This piece was wrong. Right.
[00:07:09] So there's a chance I might be able to relate to what you're saying right now. So quite a bit. Yeah. And so you may like this as well.
[00:07:17] The perspective I give them because it's all perspective. It's all how are we looking at things? What are we making up? What story are retelling? What meaning are we giving it? So the different perspective I give them is well what if it's just an experiment? What if you approached life like a scientist? Because we don't know for sure. We have theories. We train ourselves. We do research and we make attempts at things. But we don't know 100 percent that things are going to work out. There are a lot of variables that play into whether or not something becomes a success. And to what degree is it a success? I'm like, but what if you're a scientist and you conducted an experiment and the experiment either turned out the way you thought it would or it didn't. But it's not a success or a failure. And if it doesn't turn out the way you thought. What if you just took that time like a scientist to analyze, okay, what caused this result? Let's tweak it. Let's run the experiment again. So it's not about success or failure. It's about just grappling with things till you get it to the point where it's like I'm satisfied. This is good.
[00:08:26] I love that. I love that so much. And many of the people who listen to this podcast are soul guided entrepreneurs and women. And they started their business because they had a love for their product or service and just a deep commitment to their clients, customers and the planet. And sales and marketing didn't come naturally.
[00:08:48] Oh, man, I get it, right. I totally get it, too.
[00:08:52] And that I think in sales and marketing, it's a lot of what you're just talking about, letting yourself out there, trying new things, trying new techniques, new mediums. Right. To to share what it is you're offering. And a lot of times, you know, people feel blocked. These women entrepreneurs feel blocked in having that curious mindset and being okay, that it's not perfect the first time. And, you know, trying that YouTube channel or that Facebook live for the first time and knowing that it might not be perfect the first time.
[00:09:23] Yes. There I'm having so many thoughts as you are saying that. So, yes, I've been there. I did not have a business degree or a marketing background when I started my business. So it was a lot. I call it like baptism by fire and learning it like failing forward and all of that. And I get it. And it can feel painful in the moment. But there's so much to learn and get. The other thing is, like you were saying earlier, you were looking for podcasts that resonated with you. You were looking for a certain voice. What I find with a lot of entrepreneurs is they get caught up in, oh, it has to be done this way because the experts are telling me this is the way to market my business. Now, if if you're a soul led entrepreneur, you're marketing and sales is going to look a lot different than somebody who's driven by the bottom line, cause you're not. It's not to say the bottom line isn't important right, because you're part of the reason why you're listening to this podcast as you want to do business better so that you're getting paid for the value that you bring. But the approach may not be right for you. So there's always, and this is why I'm a big one for self-led leadership. There's a little bit of to thine own self be true that needs to be going on in your sales and marketing as well. Now, there is also a balance of yup, it's going to be a little uncomfortable being visible, inviting people to work for you, work with you, asking for the sale for a lot of us.
[00:10:57] That's not something we had to do before. So there's a little bit of stretching and discomfort in that. But that's different from the I am sick of having to write the email this way, right? Or I don't like the way my marketing funnel is set up. It feels very disingenuous and fake and untrue and that sort of thing. I was watching an ad there's an ad that keeps coming up as I'm like online and it's about a guy talking about creating urgency, but it's fake urgency. There's a difference between, okay the program starts on Thursday, so you need to register by Wednesday, right? That's true. Because, you know, maybe there's some pre-work and they have to get it done and they need the email that has the logistics. So you need to register a day before the program starts. Then there's fake urgency of it's only on sale for this amount of time. If you don't buy now, you're going to lose out. And for a lot of us who are soul driven, that tactic does not feel good. Right, because it's fake. Yes, it's not true. And we feel disingenuous and like we're going against our values when we do things like that. So maybe that and it's not to say that people who use that tactic are bad or wrong or bad people or anything like that. But it doesn't work for you. So what does? Right. There's got to be some inquiry within yourself of how do I get my message across? How do I let people know how important it is and, like create that urgency?,
[00:12:32] Because there is urgency and we know it. Like, if you buy my product or my service, you will get the benefits right away. Why is this important for you actually and finding other ways to convey urgency than creating fake deadlines?
[00:12:47] Yes, I love that. I love that. So let's get in. You mentioned self leadership. Let's dive into that. How does it work? Steady leadership. Yeah. What do you mean? What does it mean? First of all. Well, for me, self leadership is really just taking the onus on yourself to recognize what your goals are, what lifestyle you want to live like. What are you what are you trying to do in the world?
[00:13:09] What are you looking to contribute? And identifying how to get it out? Go about that. Right. So, you know, for me, last year went to a couple of my goals was to be in a relationship and increase the profits in my business. And so my first strategy was, you know, I'm going to do it on my own. And, you know, I signed up for an app and, you know, I came up with all these strategies that made sense to increase profits and my business. And after trying out different things, it had not worked out the way I wanted it to. So then I took a step back and said, what's missing? And I realized all the areas where I was making progress or hit my goals, I had help. And in these areas, I was trying to do it on my own. So it was like it was giving it the time and the attention to lead myself to the solution. So I hired coaches, I hired a sales coach and I hired a dating coach and I increased my profits and I'm in a relationship. Right.
[00:14:10] So, you know, coaches are the best. If you're struggling, coaches really can make the difference.
[00:14:19] And it's not to say like because we talked about this, too, like the women I I coach, like I said, are perfectionists. They're people pleasers. I lovingly call them type-A cause they have those type-A tendencies and one of the tendencies of type-A's is we want to go it alone and we don't want to figure it out ourselves. We'll Google first and we'll ask around.
[00:14:38] You know, but like YouTube is my friend. YouTube is. There's a YouTube video for everything. It's just it's true. There are some things that we can figure out. And maybe that's the first step. And that's what I say to my clients. I'm like, you don'thave to immediately hire out. There are some DIY things we can do.
[00:14:55] But it's self leadership to recognize when you've hit that place where you're not making any progress. And when I talked about the goals that I had hit, hadn't hit. There was a fitness goal that I had. And there was a point where I saw that it wasn't that I was going to be unsuccessful, I would have hit the goal, but I probably would have hurt myself trying to hit the goal because it was a physical goal. It was like doing a thousand burpees. And when I hit a certain number. Yeah, and I could just tell I was reading the signs in my body that I didn't feel like I was fueling my body correctly. And there was something in the way I was working out that like my body was really tired and my joints were just taking too much pressure. And I had run a marathon and I had pretty much researched that on my own. I Googled and YouTubed and read articles and did great with that.
[00:15:44] But I realized with this goal I'm like, there's a limit to my knowledge and what I'm able to read online. It's not going to get me up. I'll hit the goal, but I'll be hurt. And so I hired a personal trainer who was also a nutritional coach. And before I knew it, like the aching in my joints went away and I did feel nourished. You know, for my workouts. So it's not to say you have to hire everyone for everything. I did the marathon without having to hire anybody. But it's about recognizing where your limits are and where you need to get help.
[00:16:16] Like sometimes leadership looks like getting support and then leaning into other people.
[00:16:22] Yeah. So unpack it for us. How does self leadership work?
[00:16:26] Well, really, it's about you know, I I say my, I was telling you before. My philosophy is we're all leaders. We all have goals. We all have things we're striving for. The question is, how well do you lead yourself, you know? Are you able to achieve your goals? Are you able to get there and examining that?
[00:16:46] I mean, soul lead entrepreneurs, I mean, likely have a spiritual practice and you identify, you know, what's working for me, what's not working for me, where's and when you, you know, say it's meditating. I think that's pretty popular among soul led entrepreneurs. You know, there's a point where it's a struggle to meditate for five minutes, you know, and sit still and not have your thoughts go crazy and not be thinking about it. Not having your mind just go wild and then you get to a point where you're like, wow, yeah. Five minutes went by in a few thoughts entered in and I let them go. And that was really peaceful and. But you don't stay there. You don't stay five minutes. You go to ten minutes, you know, or the next thing or you say, I'm going to evolve my meditation practice, too. I'm gonna ask a question before I meditate, and then I'll see if the answer comes while I'm meditating, you know? So you play with it and it's the same thing in your business. It's, you know, where are you right now examining where the growth is. And then coming up with plan for how to move forward or it's identifying where is it? Where are my areas of opportunity for growth right now? What's the next thing for me? So is self leadership. It's it's guiding your own growth to get you to where you're looking to be, not because you have to be anywhere but for like almost like for fun. Like I say to my clients, if you can make it a game, that's probably one of the best ways to go about it, you know, so that you're having fun while you're doing it, but you're doing it. You're like you're in the query. You're in the question to grow.
[00:18:23] Mm hmm. Okay. So how so? To get even deeper into it. How does it work on a practical level? Like what? I'm sure there's a million different ways you can approach this idea of self leadership. But what is something like a daily or weekly practice that you would recommend?
[00:18:39] Oh, gosh. Self leadership really starts with the basics like self-care, right? Am I getting enough sleep in my eating well? Am I getting, am I hydrating myself? Am I reading inspiring or educational materials? What am I consuming? You know, not just in terms of nutrition, but in terms of content. You know, what movies am I watching? What am I listening to? What podcasts are? What's my music? You know, that sort of thing. Like what is everything I am putting into my head and my body that's contributing to me being at my best or not and taking responsibility for that, because really that that is that the key to leadership maturity, adulthood is taking responsibility for these things. And if you make it, you know, and here's the thing. Like, sometimes I have dessert, you know, even though I know sugar is not great for me, sometimes I have dessert and I own it.
[00:19:37] Yeah. Like I'm having it. This is a choice that we get.
[00:19:40] It's not about doing the perfect thing all the time because like with my clients, I'm like, no, it's not about being perfect. It's you know, it's like the 80/20 or the 90/10 rule, whatever works for you. But then in your in your business, it might be also like for me, I knew meditating would make a huge difference in my business. Like if I was meditating regularly and I could calm myself down. That would help me focus. It would help me stay on the right track. So I identified that and took responsibility and made that a practice. I also recognized that speaking would make a huge difference in my business. Like once that awareness came to me, even though it freaked me out and it would be more work and all of that, I'm like this would be make a huge difference. So what's the plan? How am I going to do this? How am I going to go about this? So it's taking responsibility, identifying, you know, where the need is, where the opportunity is and taking responsibility to move forward with that. And how did that awareness arrive do you think? How did you know speaking? Yeah, it's it's almost like by accident.
[00:20:48] Earlier you had said something and my thought was is like, yes. And you can only research for so long. At some point you just have to do it right. You have to try even if it's not going to turn out well, there's no getting things perfect all the time. It's just set in for me. The speaking was. It were almost by accident. It was. I was promoting a workshop I was doing and I traveled around to different networking groups to talk about it and to stand up and speak and and that sort of thing. And I got a really great response from it. And, you know, I was asked to do a mini-presentation where other people were gonna be doing mini-presentations. And I did it. And I got a great response, like in terms of people, you know, doing my workshop. People inquiring into my services and becoming clients, getting other speaking opportunities. I was like like the ROI on the time and energy I put into speaking was like triple or quadruple what I put in. And I was like, OK. And every year I do an assessment.
[00:22:01] I asked myself four questions at the end of the year, what worked? What didn't work? What surprised me and what informs me about the year going forward, you know, and there was one year I think it was like around 2014. What surprised me was how effective speaking was.
[00:22:23] Yeah. And I knew I had to make it a bigger thing in my business. And that was before I started the podcast. Like the podcast came out of that realization of, oh, speaking works and getting my message out there works.
[00:22:35] And I love this example because often in my soul guided community that we're in here. I talk a lot about listening to your heart and following those nudges. You know, your heart speaks to you and whispers often. So you do have to get quiet. You have to rely on meditation and other practices to hear it. And then when you get that calling and sometimes it's like a it's words, you know, start speaking. Sometimes it's just this sense, this feeling, this hunch. Yes. That I'm getting back to your idea of curiosity. Yes. The curious mindset, treating it like a science experience. I wonder how it would feel like to try some public speaking or getting in front of a group of people. And you followed that. And then what I loved is the execution. And I think sometimes we can fall short on this is you got the evidence backing that, whoa, this is really working. And you saw that evidence? Yeah. Sometimes I think we have the evidence that things are working or not working and we tend to not see it or just keep driving on without taking a second to say, how did that work? Yes.
[00:23:40] And sometimes it doesn't show off like good news. Like when I realized it worked at first I was like, oh, no, I have to do this more. Yes.
[00:23:48] But the more I've done it, the more I've come to enjoy it. And now I'm at the point where I don't experience stress around it. Actually, let me qualify that. I don't love putting presentations together. Right. So that's the part of it. Like there's it seems like there's always like a piece of something we do that piece I don't love. Right. And I could outsource this at some point, you know. But like, I love, you know, delivering. Yeah. You know, that's my passion. That's my love. I get in front of a room and I'm so energized, you know. But putting the workbook together and creating the slides and that sort of thing, it's like, it's okay, but it's not my love, you know, that sort of thing.
[00:24:28] But, you know, I'm at the point now where I don't experience stress, like at the thought of getting up in front of people and talking and getting them to talk to each other and to talk to me about what's going on for them.
[00:24:42] And that's amazing. And that's because you've done it again and again and again until it got easy practice, right? Yes. Good. That's so cool. So let's talk about mindset. Mm hmm. How is a healthy mindset a good part of this self leadership practice?
[00:24:58] Yes. And I want to make a distinction, because sometimes we get really caught up in mindset is about thinking positive all the time. And that's not where I focus my time and my energy with my clients. I'm more interested in what is the story you're making up about yourself, other people in the world that's causing you to have the thoughts you have, have the feelings, you have behaved the way you're behaving and then get the results that you're looking for. So mindset is more for me.
[00:25:29] I'm more concerned is what do you believe that you're capable of or what's possible for you? What do you believe? You know, cause I will say to my clients, it's not about what you deserve and it's not about what you've earned. It's what you believe you deserve and what you believe you've earned that will cause you to either move forward with something or not. You know, when somebody says, you know, I want to hire you, what what goes through your head? I remember when I first started my business, it was yay! And then immediately, like, oh, God, what if I let them down?
[00:26:03] You know, that scary experience of getting a new clients. So that was wrapped up in my overall experience of new clients, was the like the pressure of am I or am I not going to get the sale?
[00:26:16] And then once I get the sale or the new client, can I even deliver on this? And I had to change that story I had about myself, too. Yes, I will deliver. And also being very clear with my clients, like this is a partnership. Our end result is going to be due to what we both put into this and here's what I'm committing to you.
[00:26:41] Can you commit to this as well? Because as we all know, as you know, product developers and service providers, you know, you can give 100 percent. But if they're not using the product or they're not delving into the service, you know, that's not going to make a difference. So really with mindset, I would say is what is this story that you're telling yourself about you and what you're capable of? What you can deliver? What value can provide? What is the story you're telling yourself about other people, you know, and what they can do for you and what's possible and what's possible for them? And then just the world in general, you know, because those things will impede our leadership, our self leadership, if we're not clear where something where we're getting held back and what story we're making up, because most of it.
[00:27:33] The thing is, it's like a kind of we were, I was joking with some friends the other night. I was like, the world's just a projection of our inner world to the outer world. And most of it's not true. Most of what we make up about other ourselves, other people in the world isn't true. Like what? Like when we, like, really examine things. And, you know, most conflict comes from miscommunication, you know, that sort of thing. So. So mindset, I'll just some that up. Going back to what are the stories that you're telling?
[00:28:06] Love that. I also notice with my clients, especially those who are in the service industry and say they want more clients. And one part of a sentence, they'll be like, oh, I just want, you know, six clients. And then on the other, when we dig underneath that, we find out that they're already totally overstretched and their bandwidth is at Max. And then they're also telling them the story like. I don't know if I have space for six clients. Right? Yes. So energetically they're pushing away. Yeah. And you know, they're they're not doing themselves a service to be able to attract it. Yes. Six clients because they haven't made the space for it. Again, it gets back to story. Changing the story, too. And then also changing your schedule to reflect your story. I have plenty of bandwidth for however many clients I want to attract and I've got oodles of it. Right. Yeah.
[00:29:00] Or you asked the question "if six more people came to my door and said I must work with you like this has to happen. What changes would you make to accommodate them"? Make those changes now and then go out and market for those six.
[00:29:15] Yes, love that. So what is some advice that you'd give for someone who wants to have a daily or weekly mindset, check in to make sure that their stories and thoughts are supporting their self leadership and are supporting where it is they want to go?
[00:29:32] Well, this is one of those things where I think it's it needs to be personalized, you know, for some people will say, I can't sit still and meditate and I'm like, we'll go for a walking meditation, especially if they're outdoorsy. I'm like, go for a walking meditation or, you know, I'm somebody who physical exercise is a must. It helps me get rid of stress and tension. And I get some of my best ideas and inspired thoughts through exercise. And it helps calm me down. I have a I have a lot of energy. And if I don't workout, it just ends up becoming frenetic energy. So I and I also have a practice. I do a course in miracles. And that's a daily practice for me where I'm just bringing my mind back around to who am I and what's my relationship with God. And that's very empowering for me. These things may not connect with other people. So this is one of those things where you have to do that inquiry of, you know, how am I looking to grow and what will support me. And as you know, Allison, like when we start, like, you know, diving into it and poking around. Most people know the answer, right. They just they like the answer or they think or the thing is, it's mindset. They think they're not capable of the answer. The answer is, you know, the solution is too difficult or it's they just can't make it work right now. And the more as coaches, we inquire, is that true? Is that true? Is that true? Is that true? Eventually it comes down to like, oh, no, it is. You know, it's fine. Like, I can do that and it's totally possible. So I would say, you know, to the woman who is listening. What do you already know would be. Good for you to be doing right now and making a daily or a weekly practice. Self led. Yes. Yeah. And do it like lead yourself to do it.
[00:31:18] Yes. Yes. That thing, you know, I talk about when we should on ourselves. And it's amazing sometimes when I'm really mindful of my thoughts, how many times I say I should, I should do this, I shouldn't do this like throughout the day. It's like I'm on autopilot of shitting. And I often a good indication is if you have been saying to yourself a lot, I should and it's not like it's you should do something that, you know, is going to open you up. Yeah. It's not like a you know, a a should that brings you down, but that follow those shoulds that you've been saying a lot to yourself that will open you up and stop saying should and just start saying I'm doing it. Yes. I choose to start going to yoga tomorrow. I choose to start meditating. Yeah, I choose to whatever that expanding opening up thing is like that's another, you know, stop shoulding. Yes. In this case. And start just doing, showing up.
[00:32:14] Yes. Should creates conflict. I, you know, I want to need to whatever the word is. Be doing this. But I'm not. So I'm in conflict and that drains our energy to live in conflict. And think of how many shoulds you have for yourself. You are draining your energy every time you think about it or it comes up or even subconsciously, it is draining your energy. So I loved how you use that example.
[00:32:39] There are three different language alternatives I give my clients and to use. I choose to, which I love. It's a hundred percent empowered. Like I'm choosing this. I'm in control. I have the power over this. It's my choice. It's not something I have to or should do. I choose it. There's also I get to do it, like, that because there are some people who can't. And I get to. I get it. Like you, I like I get to meditate. What a luxury that is, that I can sit still for a collection of minutes in the day and just be with myself for a little while. And the third one is I want to.
[00:33:17] It's not that I should do this. I want to do this. This is funny. I choose to. I get to. I want to. Yes.
[00:33:25] I love those. That is so awesome. So I've one last question for you. And then I'm going to put you on the spot a little bit. OK, that's fine. Something tells me you can handle it. So coaches often talk about dissolving painful thoughts or dissolving painful stories like telling these thoughts, retelling these stories. And there's a lot of processes out there that can help us do that.
[00:33:50] You know, the work by Byron Katie, I'm in love. I know I do. I'm a fan. I one of my go to techniques is emotional freedom techniques or tapping CFT. Do you have a go to tool that you like to use to help you dissolve or re-wire or reframe a painful thought or story?
[00:34:13] It's not anything like tapping. It's, you know, it's more of an approach that I use is where I get really curious and really like, you know, as my clients are telling me their stories as to and they may not phrase it this way, but to sum up, what they're saying is I'm not capable because or this brings me down because, you know, it's just challenging its inquiry, you know, and that's why part of why I love Byron Katie, because it's all inquiry, like, is it true? Are you absolutely sure that it's true?
[00:34:49] Can you prove that it's true? You know, that sort of thing, like really challenging these stories that we have. I'm also just a big fan of looking at things in a different way. You know, I know you know, the whole failure vs. trying out different strategies, you know? Is that true? And did you fail or were you trying something out? You know, that sort of. I had somebody recently who said, like, oh, I failed at that. So I'm doing this now and this is working out.
[00:35:18] And just like you were, you tried something out, didn't work. And so you tried something different.
[00:35:25] And it worked like really just taking another look at things. And I think that's where the struggle is. We get entrenched in that the way we're looking at things is the truth. You know, and I had a presentation I would do years ago and it was just titled like, "What if you're wrong"?
[00:35:46] Mm hmm. What if you're wrong? Mm hmm. What if you're wrong about yourself? What if you're wrong about that person?
[00:35:53] What if you're wrong about your belief about that organization? What if something else is going on? So I would say I think one of the most powerful things to do is just to take the approach of being wildly curious and challenging the status quo and really considering what if I'm wrong about that?
[00:36:16] I love that. Yeah. Perfect.
[00:36:19] Ok. So now here is my invitation for you. I like to ask my guests towards the end of the conversation to leave our listeners with a challenge. Mm hmm. Okay. Challenge them to do some thing with their self leadership or any anything else.
[00:36:37] I love it because I think I've already done it and I'm just gonna reiterate it.
[00:36:41] So if you missed it the first time, my challenge to you was what is that thing, you know, would make a difference for you in your business or in your life? And you keep coming up with reasons why it's not the right solution. I want you to be a scientist and try it out. Give it a go. Nice. I love that. With a curious mindset. With the curious mindset. Yes, this might work.
[00:37:10] I love it so much. Jody, what an absolute thrill and honor it's been for me to talk with you. I could keep going. I have so many questions. I've learned so much. So really so grateful for your time and your wisdom. And you just have very generous nature and sharing. Can you tell listeners who want to learn more about you how they can find you?
[00:37:31] Yes. And I just want to start by thanking you again. This has been so much fun. And thank you for listening for your audience and for those of you who are. I want to talk to the person. You know, it's always hard at this point to get to the language like thank you to you who is listening right now and has joined us. This makes a difference for us to share what we know and talk about it and hash it out. And if you want to know more about what I've got going on and all the resources I have for my clients, my hub is womentakingthelead.com. So it's women plural taking the lead. Dot com. And you can find my podcast on my blog posts there, my book and all the fun stuff that's there.
[00:38:15] So that's amazing. Check that out. That will all be in the show notes, too. So, again, thank you so much. And you listeners, you got your challenge. I'm gonna be, I want to hear some results back. Let us know how it goes.
[00:38:29] And again, Jodi, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so grateful for those who tune in week after week. I kindly invite you to hit subscribe wherever you're listening, because we have lots and lots of really awesome episodes ahead that you won't want to miss. And if you're ready to grow your business with both magic and predictability, then head to my web site right now. Allyson Scammell.com and download my three free soul guided meditations to get a clear vision of growth for your business in six months time and where to place your focus today to take you there. Again, that's Allyson Scammell.com. You can find the link in the show notes. And as always, until next time, let's grow there together.